It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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