We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize