I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
