I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
