I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
