i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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