we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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