honey bunches of taint.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
My breasts were aching with rage.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
