Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize