the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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