I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
