MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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