I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
