Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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