At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
