there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
im holly from the hills drunk
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Randomize
