She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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