They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
