We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
