Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
