I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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