So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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