is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
