shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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