idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Your dad touched me again.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
