OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize