my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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