Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
