you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Another day, another engagement, another cat
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize