This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
my being single is dangerous.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
