i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
