Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
My penis needs a shock collar
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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