I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
