we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
