i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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