You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
