It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
i think i just lost a toe
Damn victory sex feels great
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
