Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
