Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
