oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
