Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
The air taste purple.
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