I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
