Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
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