Please don't use social media to get back at me.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
