just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
