Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
