I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
