GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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