I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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