Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize