This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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