He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
