Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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