grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
