Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
