are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
