Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I think people are normalizing furries
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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