i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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