Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
