Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
