i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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