shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
