So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
