I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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