i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
