Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
