yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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