I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm passing your future prison.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I just found a bag of teeth...
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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